jeudi 28 janvier 2010

Why emirati marry foreign ladies???


This is an article from an emarati woman which is saying her point of view , in color , i am explaining mine:
I was with my sister at a department store, and I saw an Emirati man with what I assumed was his wife. He was holding her hand and she was dressed in an abaya (the black cloak that most of us Emirati women wear) and the shaylah (head scarf). In fact, she wore this traditional dress like the Emirati women. Had they not stopped close by me, I would have never known that his wife was not Emirati but Eastern European (which I detected from her accent).
As my sister spoke of what she was going to buy, my mind went into a series of questions about the implications of the growing number of Emirati men marrying foreign women.
In the case of this couple I wondered, what would the identity of their children be? As a mother plays a critical role in building a child's character, specifically their sense of religion, language, heritage and identity.
------------- I think that the children will have a double culture but the culture emirati will override their European culture because they live here. Moreover, it is a cultural richness. Already, mostly emarati have indian , pakistani or iranian mothers. Their father used to get married with expats ladies , so why not them?
The fact is that the phenomenon of Emirati men marrying foreign women is an issue of personal freedom - a freedom which I totally respect and support. But the implications of this phenomenon are part of a bigger issue which range from the dilution of our national identity to the growing number of un-married Emirati women. The other implications are rising divorce rates due to non-compatible cultures, marriages of convenience to obtain Emirati citizenship, and lack of fairness which emerges from the UAE citizenship that is easily granted to a foreign woman who marries an Emirati man and her children, while the children of an Emirati woman married to a foreigner are not fully entitled to it.

------ First of all , not all marriages are marriages of convenience to obtain UAE citizenship , because for example, I did not get married for this reason and I am not going to change my nationality . Moreover, I know other ladies married with local men who are keeping their citizenship. But , it's also right to say that some women, mainly asian or East european, have changed their passport .
------ I agree that it's unfair that the children of an Emarati woman married to an expat will not be entitled to UAE citizenship.

So why are Emirati men increasingly marrying foreign women? Fundamentally, we as a people have not changed. However, the phenomenal growth of our society has changed our social landscape, which in turn has had an impact on our behaviour, and priorities. The change in the social landscape is reflected in our cosmopolitan society, high standard of living and access to material wealth and luxurious lifestyles.
This phenomenal growth has also brought with it some challenges. For example, the rapid development of our nation has attracted many people to our country, amongst them single foreign women who in many cases come from societies where dating and non-marital relations are part of the social norms. The growing number of these single women in our society does impact the behaviour of Emirati men. In the past, many Emirati men would marry early, but today we are witnessing a lot of them delaying marriage as there is an abundance of single and willing women, and a lively dating scene. Quite often, these men end up marrying the woman they date.
Our traditional values of strict segregation in terms of socialising of Emirati men and Emirati women have also limited the ability of Emirati men to respectfully meet eligible young Emirati women in public and respectable social manner. On the other hand, these same Emirati men can easily socialise with foreign women, which means that the greater interaction between foreign women and Emirati men naturally results in a higher probability of an Emirati man getting to know more foreign women and increases the chance of marrying a foreigner.

------ I think that the problem is not that there is no interaction between emarati men and emariti women because they can meet each other at work , in the college or different places . The problem is deeper :Many Emarati people will not marry to someone which is not from the same tribe , family or even city ! Why? Their family will may not accept this person.
I know one emarati couple who really loves each other but they can not get married because she is from ''baloush tribe'' and he is from ''emi tribe''.

Lifestyle
The access to luxurious lifestyles has also created an imbalance in terms of priorities, so we find many young men preferring a fast car and a girl friend to a home, wife and children. Materialism has also created a demand for higher dowries thereby deterring many Emirati men from marrying Emirati women.
------ Nowaday , some emirati ladies are asking higher dowries ( Between 100,000 AED and 400,000 AED) and emirati men can not afford a huge amount ( Not all , emirati are rich !) . So , its also a reason to get married to an expat who does not ask that much money.
Today, there is an awakening. Yes for a young nation of 37 years, we have achieved in a short time span what once people called the impossible. At the same time, we increasingly realise that if taken for granted, we can lose everything in the blink of an eye.
So we need to actively work to preserve our national identity. We need to encourage Emiratis to marry Emiratis to strengthen our value system, our heritage and our sense of civic duty. We need to get rid of anachronistic traditions that do not allow young Emiratis to socialise publicly in a respectable manner and allowing them to potentially meet their life-partner. We need to balance out our passion for material belongings and a noble sense of purpose in life.
As Emiratis we have to continue to be bold and to keep up the momentum of development, but we also need to take each step with much wisdom and thought, and not to consider our personal actions only as they pertain to us as individuals, but to also consider how our personal choices affect us collectively, as a people, and as a nation.

16 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit…
Ce commentaire a été supprimé par l'auteur.
Anonyme a dit…

Assalam Alaikom. I'm a 17 year old Emirati and I come from an open-minded family, Alhamdulilah. My mother said to me that the most important thing in a husband is his piety and manners. A lot of Emiratis unfortunately look down on Indians but my mother said that: "even if he was Indian as long as he was religious. But of course, marrying from your own culture and race is better." I just wanted to say that my mother isn't Emirati.

A lot of Emirati women feel frustrated because they can't marry outside of their race while men can. Also, they feel scared that they would be left out - that they would never get married. Even though they shouldn't, they should know that Allah will bless them with a good husband (from whatever nationality), they should be confident that they are beautiful and capable enough. The reason most people believe is high dowry and the unbelievable wedding expenses that result from marrying an Emirati.

The main reason I'm writing this is that one of the sisters who commented said that "marrying an Emirati woman means you have to hire a cooker, a maid and a driver. But if you marry a foreigner you get that all in one" (something like that). In a class of 29 students, 5 have foreign mothers and Emirati fathers (including me). 3 out of these 5 students have maids and drivers (including me again). One I'm not sure because I'm not close to and the other has a Saudi mother who cooks for her and picks her up from school so I don't think she has a maid (I've been to her house as well)

I know a Senegali girl who has a Mali mother who has a maid. Most British couples have nannies and maids. Lebanese, Palestinian, and Jordanian couples as well. If you live in Dubai, life without a driver and maid is verrrry hard. I agree that a lot of foreign women dont marry Emirati men for the passport only. But there a lot who do, I have to admit. [I wanted to warn foreign women who marry Emirati men NOT to take the Emirati passport. My mother's cousin is Iranian. She married a foreign man; he died and they took away her passport. Keep your passport AND your dignity.]

According to the Marriage Fund, 26% of Emirati men are married to foreigners. [I just wanted to clear things up, A lot of Emirati women I know are married to foreign men and they kept their passports. THEY DONT TAKE IT AWAY THEY JUST DONT GIVE IT TO YOUR HUSBANDS AND CHILDREN] The problem is not with the government. Its a social problem. The Emirati society is a closed-minded society. Look at sister society Bahrain for instance. It's normal there to find out that your neighbor who is a Bahraini woman is married to an Egyptian man. Or her cousin is married to an American or Filipino man. My mother's cousin (Bahraini) is married to an Afghani man. It's not a big deal.

My wonderful sisters in Islam, Dont take it personally when Emirati women get angry or defensive. Theyre just trying to solve a widespread problem which Alhamdulilah you dont face. Being 40 and single and having people talk about you isn't easy. And if youre 17 like me, you dont want to hear people saying the word 'She's single! She's single' like she is sick. I can understand how you guys feel because people tend to point their fingers at you even though you dont feel like youve committed a crime. I hope we can see this from each other's points of view. I will try my best, in sha Allah. I hope that the government passes a law that gives nonlocal men who marry Emirati women passports (and their children)

In the mean time, make dua'a that balance is restored. :)

Thanks

Your sister in Islam,
NSA

Jamal a dit…
Ce commentaire a été supprimé par l'auteur.
Jamal a dit…

I love to get to know a person like you do we can share and exchange ideas, knowledge etc pls drop me a line anytime jimma412@gmail.com

Jamal a dit…

Sorry I deleted my initial post I was saying ...
Asalamualeykum sister , from your writings I can see that you were brought up in a practice Muslim household. I liked how you put things in perspective. In Islam man and woman has equal rights when it comes to marriage , both gender can choose any race as long as the person they are marrying is a Muslim ( of course a man has a privilege of marrying from people of the book ) not of course the Russian blond or European blond we see Arab men are marrying today . We are talking chest Christian or Jewish woman who guards their modesty .

Anonyme a dit…

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Syed a dit…

Assalamualaikum jasmine dats good alhamdullilla you and your mother thought that a pious muslim is better than a non pious emarati. Betteer u prefered and u gave importance to ISLAM than ur nationality. By this way the emarati single womens can be low down. Hear i have seen our young local muslim boys r trying to follow western culture. But i have seen in india i have seen in my city bangalore and neighbouring areas the muslim boys r rushing to masajid and obeying islam. Often they think the rules of shariah and avouding weatern culture as much as pissible this trend is more over der. If we try show or use some english words other guys theyll tease and call as 'angrez' (british),

Unknown a dit…

Aslamoalakuim,
I em 43 years old Pakistani married man having 2 children.But I want second marriage with a rich woman of any Age and any nationality who can financially support me to esteblish a business in dubai as Hazrat khatija RA support Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. I m looking for life partner who treat me like husband not her salve.who accept my pskistani wife and children also. Who passionatly loves me and also loved by me and have respect for me and be respected by Mr. so that we could make our house a sweet home. Benethe all this she can teach our children islamic culture tridition and education.If muslims sister from any Arab or any country is or any woman agree with these conditions they feel free to contact with me at my email.

chhassan23@hotmail.com

Then afterwards we commiunicate by phone. I m on 3 month visit Visa in Dubai.

Thanks

Unknown a dit…

Aslamoalakuim,
I em 43 years old Pakistani married man having 2 children.But I want second marriage with a rich woman of any Age and any nationality who can financially support me to esteblish a business in dubai as Hazrat khatija RA support Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. I m looking for life partner who treat me like husband not her salve.who accept my pskistani wife and children also. Who passionatly loves me and also loved by me and have respect for me and be respected by Mr. so that we could make our house a sweet home. Benethe all this she can teach our children islamic culture tridition and education.If muslims sister from any Arab or any country is or any woman agree with these conditions they feel free to contact with me at my email.

irfan-777@hotmail.com

Then afterwards we commiunicate by phone. I m on 3 month visit Visa in Dubai.

Thanks

roland kate a dit…

MY MAN OF FOUR YEARS START CHEATING ON ME HE DON'T USE TO CALL ME, HE ALWAYS GOING OUT WITH OTHER GIRLS ANY TIME I CALLED HIM HE BOUNCE MY CALLS. I WAS SO WORRIED BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND WE ALREADY PLANS FOR MARRIAGE AND I TRIED ALL I CAN TO MAKE SURE THAT HE COME TO HIS NORMAL SENSES BUT NOTHING WORKED OUT. THINGS WHERE GETTING BAD, I WAITED FOR YEAR FOR HIM TO CHANGE AND PROPOSE MARRIAGE BUT HE DID NOT PROPOSE MARRIAGE TO ME, WHEN IT BECAME UNBEARABLE FOR ME I TOLD A FRIEND WHO TOLD ME TO CONTACT DR EMUA. THAT HE CAN HELP ME IN THIS SITUATION, AND I WAS A GIRL WHO DOSE NOT BELIEVE ON SPELL, SO THE LAST TIME I CALLED MY MAN HE PICKED MY CALL, ALL I COULD HEAR FROM HIM IS TO TELL ME THAT HE HAS GOT ANOTHER GIRL IN SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP I WAS SO CONFUSE AND I CALLED MY FRIEND (TRACY) AND TOLD HER WHAT I JUST HAD FROM MY MAN. SHE STILL REMIND ME OF DR EMUA, THAT HE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN HELP ME SOLVED MY PROBLEM BY BRINGING MY MAN BACK TO ME. SO THERE WAS NO OPTION FOR ME I TOLD HER TO SEND ME HIS EMAIL. THAT WAS HOW I CONTACT DR EMUA FOR HELP. DR EMUA ONLY TOLD ME THAT MY MAN WILL COME BACK IN FEW DAYS TIME AFTER CASTING THE SPELL HE TOLD ME MY MAN IS COMING TO ME IN-LESS THAN FIVE DAYS TIME . AFTER TWO DAYS THE NEXT MORNING MAKING IT THIRD DAYS MY MAN TRULY CAME BACK TO ME AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS, AND I ACCEPT ALL HIS APOLOGIES BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AFTER FIVE WEEKS WE GOT MARRIED, WE ARE NOW LIVING TOGETHER . I THANK DR EMUA FOR ALL HE HAS DONE IN My LIFE GOD WILL CONTINUOUSLY GIVE HIM THE POWER TO KEEP HELPING PEOPLE. YOU CAN ALSO CONTACT HIM FOR HELP VIA HIS EMAILS DREMUAHELPHOME@OUTLOOK.COM OR DREMUAHELPHOME@GMAIL.COM OR CALL HIM +2347063628174, TRY HIM AND SEE WHAT AM SAYING


Anonyme a dit…

I've never met a Pakistani woman with you losers. The males would break your faces I know because Pakistanis are generally more violent than Emirati males.

Anonyme a dit…

I've never met a Pakistani woman with you losers. The males would break your faces I know because Pakistanis are generally more violent than Emirati males.

Assad Ullah a dit…

Assalamualaikum to all, I am a pakistani, i bekong to pashtun tribes, we have these traditions in our society, that we cannot interact openly with girl, as well our family will marry girl from the same tribe, city, more preferable from relatives, neither we can takk to girl on phone after engagement nor we can see her but our parents choose tgem, that is why love is just a dream in our society.
One cannot avoid the decree of the fate.
Ak.gr8@gmail.com

Unknown a dit…

99% of Emiratis don't have Pakistani mothers.

Pakistanis are known to have the highest cousin marriages on planet earth statistically.

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Anonyme a dit…

Upper class ? You have Indian mentality there is no upper or lower class in humanity or Islam